In this Candlelight Culture episode, Pea acts as a cultural liaison and explains the odd, funny, and confusing habits Westerners run into in the Philippines. She covers birthdays, deafening movie theaters, Western idioms taken literally, vague directions, surprise family car rides, smoke in the house, open doors with the AC on, and borrowed tools that never come back. She ends with the trait she thinks makes it all worthwhile.
Intro
- She teases three items: why Filipinos don't panic when the house fills with smoke, why they enjoy getting yelled at, and why you should never give a Filipina a power tool. "Confused? Good."
- After a run of "out and about" videos, she's back to explaining the wacky side of Filipino culture, since some of it doesn't make sense "unless you have a cultural liaison, which is my job."
Birthdays and anniversaries
- A Filipina will never forget your birthday, whether you've been together one year or ten. The flip side: you'd better never forget hers.
- Worse than forgetting a birthday: forgetting how many days it's been since you met, or what color dress she wore on your first date. Filipinas are very sentimental, "so I hope you have a near photographic memory."
- The other reason she won't forget: in Filipino culture the birthday person pays for everything. When she takes you out on your special day, you foot the bill.
Movie theaters ("getting yelled at")
- A movie might seem like a good date, but Philippine theaters crank the volume to a level that "could actually be classified as physical assault." It's like being "thrown in a box and screamed at for 2 hours."
- Even if theaters at home are loud, expect a shockwave here. Her advice: bring earplugs "so you can enjoy the new hit movie Deaf by 40."
Western idioms taken literally
- Filipinos take what you say literally, so sayings like "bite the bullet," "piece of cake," "beating around the bush," and "choking the chicken" confuse them.
- Her examples:
- "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse": they assume you want horse meat.
- "Let's chew the fat": sounds great, but you just keep talking and never hand over any fat.
- "I had an awful lot of cake": why keep eating it if it was awful?
- "Cool as a cucumber": cucumbers aren't cool, they're sold on tables out in the sun.
- "Break a leg": that's supposed to be nice?
- "There's more than one way to skin a cat" will send a woman running for the exit. "You might as well just look deep in her eyes and say, 'It puts the lotion on its skin.'"
- Advice: be as precise as possible with your words. She notes the irony, since Filipinos are "notoriously vague."
Only the last question gets answered
- Ask a Filipino several clearly worded questions and you'll get a short, incomplete answer, because "we only answer the last one." She doesn't know why, but anyone who's messaged a Filipina on a dating site with a paragraph of questions knows it.
- Fix: ask one question at a time and don't move on until you get a satisfactory answer. Repeat it if needed. If she keeps dodging, maybe check out another profile.
Directions
- Ask where a business is and you'll likely get a vague gesture and "There."
- Westerners expect street names and distances ("east a quarter mile down Baker Avenue, then right onto Mason Street"). Filipinos don't think that way. North, south, and west mean nothing to them; they only use landmarks. If the place isn't near a landmark they know, it's just "over there."
- Worse, they might have no clue and give fake directions rather than admit it. "A Filipino would rather send you on a wild-goose chase than face the shame of not knowing something." Saying "There" is easier than "I'm sorry, I don't know," and it gets rid of you.
"You didn't ask": the surprise family car ride
- Foreigners often say a Filipino will never let you know what's going on.
- Her scenario: after a few hours at her parents' house, she says it's time to go home. You head to the car and half her family is in the backseat. Nobody says a word and everyone acts like it's normal.
- When you ask, you get a puzzled look, then: Auntie Vina needs a ride to the laundromat ("can't you see the big bag of clothes on her lap?"), her brother has to be at work at 5:00 and it's already 4:52, and Mom is coming to your house to pick up leftovers, so you'll either drive her back or she'll spend the night.
- Why didn't she tell you? "You didn't ask."
- Advice: always ask who you'll be expected to ferry around. "It won't change your fate, but at least you'll know what's going on."
Smoke in the house
- Westerners smell smoke indoors and assume a fire. Your Filipino partner won't be concerned, even if she isn't cooking.
- The reason: almost every day a neighbor burns trash, and the smell seeps in no matter what. Closing windows and doors makes no difference. In the province you'll get used to the smell of burning rubber and leaves, and if you complain, "they might add a dirty diaper on the pile."
- Advice: if possible, choose your neighbors wisely before signing a lease.
AC with the back door open
- It's brutally hot, so foreigners want AC and often run it full blast even though electricity is expensive. Then the back door is wide open.
- "Honey, why's the door open?" "It's to let the rest of the hot air out."
- Her explanation: Filipinos aren't used to AC, so they don't understand how air flows. What's common sense to you is a mystery to them.
Borrowed things don't come back (the power tool)
- If your girlfriend borrows a screwdriver, don't expect it back where she found it.
- Not true of everyone, but Filipinos have a reputation for borrowing and not returning, whether it's a lighter, a power tool, "or especially cash." Expect to go searching for it yourself.
The best part: not sweating the small stuff
- Filipinos don't focus on the little things that upset Westerners. You'll hear "It's nothing... I'll be fine. Just relax."
- It's cultural not to make a big deal of what you handle every day. "Why complain about a hangnail when you've got nine other perfectly good fingers?"
- To Filipinos, foreigners have a reputation for getting worked up over trivial things, "making a mountain out of a molehill."
- The upside: your Filipina will likely have an uncanny ability to calm you down, and one look in her eyes will melt your stress away. "At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it."
- Patreon plug. Same lifeguard outro skit (everyone out of the pool for a hazmat crew: "Which one of you subscribers did that?").
